So bit delayed but today I’ll finish off the “Facing Difficulties” post.
Last time we spoke about a few basic things-
- Dont Panic
- What would Batman Do? – clearing your head, and approaching the problem with perspective.
- Get Help
Those are some things to get you through the initial phase of facing a difficult situation. From there I’d like to talk about a few further steps.
Find belief in yourself –
Whatever you face now, however trivial or unsurmountable you can’t get through it without some belief in yourself. This is one of the most important things that we need, that belief in our self. Often its very hard, especially when we’re in a low point and feeling lost. But there are few things that you can do to help find that belief.
- Remember who you are, where you came from and all that you’ve been through to get to where you are.
- Surround yourself from those who reaffirm that belief in yourself, those who see good in you, at same time don’t waste your time around people who keep putting you down.
- Stop focusing on what went wrong or what you did or didn’t do. Repeated negative thoughts just reaffirms negative emotions and you get stuck in the loop of negative thought, emotion and behaviour . Focus on positive things in your life and yourself.
- Remind yourself of your goal and direction in life. What you want out of life.
- Don’t let your self critic taunt you too much. We always have that voice in our heads, and often it’s the most vocal in criticism. So try and silence it – work out a phrase or word to stop that self criticism when it starts – Vanilla Ice’s “Stop Collaborate and Listen” works well… (“Stop … Hammer Time” or Stop in the name of Love…” also work well) but come up with something that arrests that negative spiral of thought acknowledge that thought and redirect it to more positive motivational thoughts.
Find direction and a path to follow –
So which path do you take?
That, as most things is a personal choice, but which ever path you do take, decide on it, and commit to it. The deciding can be easier when you have found that belief in yourself we talked about before. Focus on what you want, what you need to achieve and what makes you happy. Then set your mind and determination to that path, and follow it with belief.
Staying on that path –
Once you’ve decided on a path, the next thing is trying to stick to it. You will face difficulties, and challenges, there will be times that you want to just curl up in a ball and give up. That’s up to you. But if you do give into that desire to curl up and give up, know that it will never be easy to get up and get going again, that darkness around you would have crept that little bit closer. It helps if you have loved ones and supporting people around you, if you have a goal or dream you want to achieve… at times it may just be to get through to the next day, but you need to look beyond that to something positive as well. It may be success, it may be family, children, money, esteem, recognition, whatever it is you need to set that goal in mind and fix that firmly in your head and remind yourself why you are doing this. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, I know I keep saying this, but its a very important point. Don’t ever be afraid to ask or get help anywhere on your journey, it doesn’t weaken you!
One important thing is to be forgiving to yourself and to others. Don’t carry guilt, anger or bitterness on your journey forward. Those emotions will just burdon you and gnaw away at your soul, though it may be hard put them aside. Draw that line with your past, your past self, the people in the past who may have caused you the difficulty, and focus on the future and present you and the people in your life who matter and are in your future.
Structure your steps , work out and plan how you will achieve your target, visualise each step and ways to get to the next. Don’t be afraid or disheartened by setbacks, that is part of life and any journey – learn from them and don’t make the same mistakes. Be flexible in your approach and mindset, be able to change to circumstance and difficulties, seize opportunities when they come, and don’t keep second guessing or doubting yourself.
- Believe in yourself and self worth.
- Keep your dream or goal in sight.
- Be flexible in your mindset.
- Be forgiving to yourself and others – carrying the anger and bitterness just weighs you down.
- Remember Perspective – small steps on the path to your goal, it doesn’t happen overnight.
- Ask for help.
Good luck on your journey, each person has to make their own path in life, and often it can seem a lonely and long path. But if you’ve ever done a drive to pick up someone from the airport you’ll know the difference. On the drive there it seems long, but once you’ve picked that person or people up – the journey back can be full of joy, laughter conversation and the trip back doesn’t seem as long. Having someone along with your on your journey always makes it easier and more pleasant (if it doesn’t maybe they’re the wrong people).